When I was first diagnosed with lupus, I had terrible, terrible joint pain. I couldn't undress myself, I couldn't walk up and down stairs and whenever I sat down I always needed to be picked up. Now- thanks to rituxan or other drugs, I no longer suffer from constant joint pain. However, I still don't feel "good". I wake up everyday still achy, most days nauseous and it takes me about an hour or more to feel like a human again. I'm still fatigued, I still have headaches. I still HAVE LUPUS. I feel like most times just because my pain isn't outward, or I'm not complaining about it- people forget it's there. When I say I'm tired- I'm not being lame. When I need a nap, it's not because I'm lazy. I almost wish that my ailments were visible to the rest of the world. That way I wouldn't get dirty stares when I don't offer up my seat on the bus, or use the elevator. If my disease wasn't invisible, I wonder how different I would be treated.
