Weren't you depressed?

Tonight I went to my first Lupus Support group meeting.  Despite leaving home on time, I arrived 20 minutes late because of traffic.  Being a little nervous, I knew that walking into a room of already situated people would be even harder.  Luckily, I had a good friend with me to help ease my nerves and keep my heart light.  
    Upon first scan of the room I noticed that I was most definitely the youngest there.  I was a little apprehensive at first.  The ladies (and one gentlemen) were already seated and finishing up the "light dinner" that was served.  The light dinner consisted of roasted potatoes, asparagus, chicken and some form of red meat with cheesecake for dessert.  Soda, water and coffee were all available. Since I typically try to avoid meat, I snacked on asparagus and potatoes while the meeting got underway.
    Our facilitator began by asking us to go around the room and say our names and what our illness was.  The meeting was not only for lupus patients, but also but arthritis patients.  One by one the ladies took turns and shared not only their names & illness's, but what current symptoms they were facing, or how they were diagnosed.  After listening to about 10-15 stories, it was my turn and I spoke briefly about having lupus for 10 years.  I was a bit nervous and unsure of what to say, so I told the members that they could ask me anything they wanted.  As the group moved on several women began sharing stories of their trials and tribulations.  It was nice to hear another group of women struggling with some of the issues I have dealt with.  Another younger member spoke up and asked me a question directly
 "When you first found out you had Lupus, weren't you depressed?  I was diagnosed a year and a half ago and I'm finding it hard to deal with"  Knowing this was a crucial moment, and my answer could inspire or depress this women further.  I began to answer her question as honestly and as best as I could.  I told her that when I was first diagnosed, I was 14 and didn't fully understand the extent of my illness.  It wasn't until I was older and started researching the disease on my own that I really found out just how serious lupus could be.  When I started learning more and more about my illness, instead of letting it depress me further I allowed lupus to give me a zest for life. I have good and bad days, on the bad days I rest.  On the good days I want to go out and enjoy!  In my response I stated that I also had antiphospholipid antibody syndrome, and had been hospitalized many, many times.  But again, instead of allowing this to bring me down, I am able to see what a blessing LIFE truly is. I really do try and enjoy everyday that I'm NOT sick.  Without lupus I may take life for granted, not realizing how beautiful the little things in life can be.  I was given this disease because I was strong enough to handle it, and I try to remember that when things aren't exactly easy.
When I finished speaking, about 2 minutes had gone by and I feel the members were truly impressed with my wisdom for being so young.  My friend leaned over and whispered "that was beautiful".  Knowing my message had gotten to some, I was relieved.  
The meeting continued long past the scheduled hours.  With the members telling funny stories or sharing one on one.  We said our goodbyes as we had a long drive back home.  I said I would see them all next month, and left feeling a bit better than when I had arrived.  


XoXo,
Jullz

Thank you...NOT

I really love Thank You cards.  Receiving them and sending them.  I think there's something special about receiving a hand written card in the mail about something that occurred recently.  It shows that someone took the time to sit, think about what to write, and personally thank you for it.  In a day where it's so easy to send a text or an email blurbing, THANX!  I really feel there is something unique about a hand-written thank you.  

Now I like sending thank you's when someone has gone out of their way to help me in some way, or has given me a gift. Or if I want to thank someone for something they did.  Now am I sending thank yous to friends who buy me a cup of coffee?  Probably not.  I would rather save it for other occasions so the charm isn't lost.  Opening a card from me, thanking you about something you probably don't remember doing isn't in the best taste. 

That's another thing with thank you's, they don't have to be for close friends only.  Co workers, friends of friends, everyone likes being thanked. It's a great way to let someone know their efforts have been appreciated.  Speaking from a business perspective, someone is more likely to help you in time of need, or work with you again, if you sealed the deal with a personalized thank you.

Their are other events in life where other forms of thank yous may be needed.  You guessed it, parties!  Be it graduation, wedding, any form of shower, birthdays- any function where you received gifts, you should probably send a thank you for it.  I understand that depending on the type of party of was, it may range from close friends ( i.e birthday) to friends of friends, or distant family ( i.e wedding).  Writing a thank you for a gift you didn't love to someone you barely know may pose as difficult, and a little awkward.  A few tips on this, always use their name, try and add something personal about them that you were able to pick up in conversation, (I HOPE you talked to this person attending your event, even if only casually for a short time) and name a few uses for the gift and thank them for it!

A few years ago, my family opened a thank you from a wedding we attended that was neither hand written, nor personal.  It was typed, saying something along the lines about thanking us for our gift and our presence during the wedding.  Imagine my surprise when I learned everyone received the same thank you.  I know writing thank yous to 250 guests can be tiring, but guess what, those guests brought you gifts.  Don't want to write thank yous to that many people? Then don't invite that many people.  Bringing a gift to a wedding is essentially MANDATORY, and so is writing the thank you for it.  Typed & identical thank yous?  That's a NO THANK YOU in my book.

Next, I recently attended a shower, despite not really knowing the person very well. But I attended, helped set-up, laughed, clapped, smiled, took pictures, played games, but most importantly- brought a gift.  A few weeks later I opened " Dear J___Y, thank you for coming to my shower and for all your help.  Thank you for our lovely gift!"  Could this have been any more vague?  This was one hand written, so I do appreciate that.  Maybe I'm expecting too much, but what do you think about this?  I would've tried to write a little more had it been me.  It's not awful and it's not great.  I guess the best way to describe it is that it's just....lacking.

What are your thoughts on this?  Am I a Thank-You-Nazi and need to loosen up a bit?  Or would this be upsetting to you as well?

THANK YOU for reading ;)

XoXo,

Jullz